


The first attempt

by princess_fluffle



Category: Muppets, xmen movies
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 21:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11563893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princess_fluffle/pseuds/princess_fluffle
Summary: In what feels like a long time ago in a galaxy far far away (but really was about two years) I sat in the dressing room at work trying to entertain my anxious mind, while I waited to start another long and drainng day of work a few hours later. I looked online and saw the reactions to XMA footage from Comic Con which inspired a search for good fan fiction.When I couldn't find anything to read, I decided I'd attempt to pop my fan fiction cherry. I had a writing degree after all and I knew the X-Men backwards and forwards so how hard could it be? I looked around for inspiration and noticed a Muppets backpack and so began my first crack fiction.I never went back to writing it again- though I said I would and when I returned to write A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FUTURE my voice was different and any plan to keep it going was lost forever.  I just found it now in my email. So here it is, in all of it's first draft, crappy glory.





	The first attempt

"I have to hand it to you Lieb, I thought you were kidding but here we are and indeed the gag isn't up." Erik sat in bed looking as his husband speed around their bedroom.

Husband.

Their.

Concepts that Erik never could fully believe. In '62 it had always felt like a dream he was having- this great love affair with this perfect little British man. A side effect of one of Shaw's more severe "lessons." The only thing that felt real in the entire seven months had been the last few minutes. Yet another reminder of the result of caring; rejection.

The years after Dallas had been strangely lonely. Solitary was all Erik knew, something he could understand. It wasn't easy but from the earliest days of his stunted youth, nothing ever was. He didn't mind being alone- not really, it had been all he'd ever known.

People caused pain- weakness. That is what he reminded himself day after lonely day under the Pentagon but every night he dreamed of the fluffy headed telepath all the same. The only person who showed him love after mama had... "You're not alone Erik," echoed the voice of a man who taught him touch didn't have to hurt. But he was. And he longed for that man's soft touch for a decade; longed for it more than even the metal that hung just out of his reach. Long lonely days of nothingness and than all at once so much- a rescue mission, his son, saving Mystique, a stadium, a punch- he deserved it- my God he deserved it. A fight, a flight, making up, all of it orchestrated by a man from the hellish future. Well actually two men- that he and Charles thankfully never became.

"Why would I joke about such an honor. The Muppets are something we've all loved for decades. Erik. Erik! Darling come back to me," Charles tried to keep his voice calm as he looked at his beloved lost inside himself.

After a lifetime of pain that few could survive, he knew Erik's psyche had been stretched to the brink. First Shaw and the camps, then Charles' abandonment, not to mention the unspeakable 1983 where both of them nearly- nearly.

"Sorry Charles I was just thinking, what would the other guy think of this?" The other guy- Magneto- a man thankfully not needed in this world the pair had created.

"Well I suppose he'd be quite pleased that you and I had the luxury of being in a frivolous Christmas special with national icons in a year Logan said they'd have been extinct by."

"I'm Jewish and they are socks! Let's face it I went soft."

For the most part Erik loved his life- taking care of the children, watching them grow, getting old with Charles, the occasional mission- but a lifetime of fighting and visions of the first life made Erik worry he would be disappointed in himself had they ever met like Charles had that one time.

"I know you are waiting for the other shoe to drop- for the day where it all comes crashing down," Charles said as he pulled the taller man into his lap. "But it's okay to relax and have some fun. You know you have watched everything Muppets since the day you came home and you, my darling, are anything but soft." The telepath started to gently push his hand under the metokeneticist's waistband. To hell with age. Charles was nearly 91 but as randy as he was during the Kennedy administration.

"Charles Francis was that innuendo?"

  
"I was thinking in your end so..."

  
"But Libeling, it's nearly 11 o'clock we wouldn't want to keep Miss Piggy waiting."

\----------

  
Two hours and a possibly too heavily cleaned groin in the shower later, Erik was helping Charles out of the car at Muppet Studios. It looked exactly like the show, funny enough. A perky girl was coming over to meet them, "why is it always a perky girl," Erik thought loud enough for Charles to hear and respond back.

"Just be nice. You do like to pride yourself on striking fear into the masses."

It wasn't a lie- Erik did pride himself on that. The fact that aside from a few politicians on the receiving end of a handful of radical stunts here and there over the last thirty something years, most people realized "Magneto" was a fluffy puppy with more bark than bite, did not discourage Charles allowing Erik to think it. Old habits die hard.

"Hi professor Xavier hi Mag... Err umMr Neto?"...

"Call him Erik," the professor chuckled while Erik sneered.

"Ok well I'm Kelsey, Kermit's assistant and, well it's time to meet the Muppets."

Kelsey seemed nice, Erik supposed, but she probably secretly hated mutants.

"Shouldn't we meet the muppeteers first or do they come as a package deal?" Erik retorted barely noticing Kelsey's nervous giggle.

"You're making her nervous," Charles poked him. Erik smiled when he realized he had and got very proud that he still had it.

As the three made there way down a narrow corridor- a bit too narrow for people who invited a man in a wheelchair if you asked Erik- Kelsey put her hand up to her earpiece and made a sudden stop.

"Oh Dear, there seems to be an emergency with Sweedoms that has delayed Kermit. You can wait in this room right over here."

Charles said the delay was not a problem as Erik mumbled something about the doorway. As she walked away Kelsey called back, "oh do be quiet though, Gonzo is napping in there."

As the pair sat in the room on the ridiculously comfortable couch, Charles' mind wandered back to earlier that day.

"You know I always thought this was exactly what a casting couch looked like. So tell me Mr Lensherr, how much do you want the role?"

"Charles whatever are you talking about," Erik replied bewildered until all at once Erik's mind was filled with sounds of licks and kisses- images of hands ripping clothes and Charles a lifetime ago in a similar room with some similarly confusing line taking the two of them in his hands and beginning to stoke them both.

"Charles are you talking about sex games? What is it about you and sex in other people's spaces?"

Erik always found this secret fetish of his lover interesting to say the least. What was the draw of getting caught when you can make people forget what they saw? Still much like the first time this kink appeared- at the movie theatre where they saw 101 Dalmatians in New York- Erik would go along with it.

"oh yes The Ziegfeld one of my all time favorites," Charles teased. "You resisted me for the first 15 puppies up until I started nibbling your ear."

The memory of it had already started to tighten Erik's pants but he tried to play hard to get.

"Do you remember what that did to you? You were squirming so much you could barely unzip yourself" Charles' eyes were filled with lust both then and now but Erik remained silent.

"You lifted my entire body with only the zipper and change in my pants- you had no control at all. And then," Charles said, leaning his mouth to Erik's ear and over-pronouncing every word just to create even more tongue action. "The next thing I knew you'd dropped me on top of you're naked throbbing cock and pushed in so hard I thought I would choke."

Erik could barely stand it. His voice like crushed velvet groaned, "You could hardly sit the entire ride in Darwin's cab when we were done. I felt so bad."

"So make it up to me, darling. Get on your knees."

As Erik kneeled in front of the telepath coaxing him out of his pants with a stern yet caring touch, a rye smile crossed his lips.

"But Charles, Gonzo is napping." That was the last thing he got out of his mouth before Charles plunged in.

"Oh God I love what you do with the tip," Charles moaned as Erik dug his nails into Charles's hips. Charles responded by pulling Erik's hair- the bastard still having that head of hair at his age. As Erik decided that this particular erection was too good to waste in his mouth he pulled away, rubbing against something soft and fuzzy. He paused.

"Oh please don't stop because of me," responded the soft fuzzy thing.

The two mutants stared. Did it have a remote? Where were the batteries? Erik picked it up and examined it. It didn't appear to have a camera, nor any metal parts according to Erik's powers. He passed it to Charles and pondered who exactly it was that was operating it and if they could see his pants down and swollen to fight the shrinking between his legs.

"Mr Xavier did anyone ever tell you you have beautiful blue eyes?"

This was too much for Erik.

"What are you?" He bellowed and damned if the little blue muppet didn't turn his head and extend a hand.

"Name's Gonzo I'm a muppet and a weirdo."

  
"It has sentient thought," Charles said in wonderment before Erik fainted for the first time in 80 years.

Muppets were real and apparently very horny.

 


End file.
